Until a couple of months ago, I never used to believe in new year resolutions. Then it dawned on me that a new year resolution, is really just setting new goals for yourself. It sounds simple, but I didn't get it for the longest time!
Goals are good. Goals are healthy, and fun! Suddenly, it all made sense. At the beginning of each new year, you try to better yourself by giving yourself new goals. What could be wrong with that? I guess the whole thing just seemed cliche to me. Although now I look at new year resolutions, as a spring cleaning of your life, mind, body and soul. A time to refocus, and de-clutter. A time to get out with the old, and in with the new!
So, with my new understanding of a new year resolution, I thought long and hard this year as to what mine would be. I laid in bed at night thinking about it, months before the year actually came. Then I discovered something kind of scary.
It had been a long time since I really reflected on myself and thought about who I really am.
Let me explain...
When Joe and I got married at the age of 18 and 19, we faced obstacles that I don't think normal newlyweds face. We had to prove to the world that IT was wrong, and that we were going to make it. We had to prove that we didn't think marriage was like "playing house"; that we could be just as responsible and mature as the rest of the newlyweds (who were years older then us). I didn't realize it, but I kind of became obsessed with it. Building a strong foundation, and making our way into the world, was literally all I thought about. I mapped out everything from Joe's career, to when we would buy a house. All the milestones I felt we had to make, to prove statistics wrong. I feel like the scene in "Forrest Gump" where he's running to make a touch down. He doesn't realize he has done what he was supposed to do, and can stop running now (If you remember, he ran from the football field, to all the way to his house)! I feel like we already made the touch down a long time ago, but I just kept running! It wasn't until I thought about my new year resolution, that I realized we've done pretty darn good, and I can stop obsessing (running) over it.
I've been so focused on my marriage, and on the milestones we make as a couple, that I completely neglected myself! I realize now that I can relax. We made it! I can stop obsessing over planning, and mapping, and keeping up with everyone else. While I'll never stop completely, as it's definitely good to have goals for your future together and to chart out your plans, I'm going to work on having more of a balance. I can work on our marriage, our future, and make sure I'm growing and maturing as a person. I need to concentrate on building up myself. I'm not the woman I want to be, and I realized I need a lot of work!
This is what I feel like, after neglecting my own personal growth for the past 4 1/2 years:
2010, is a big year for us. It's the year we are going to start a family. I don't want to be a mother, who feels like a broken down car on the inside. I want to be the mother I envision myself being in my mind, but I can't feeling like the above picture. So, I'm rolling into the shop, and I'm getting a major makeover! I've put together quite a long list of goals for myself. They all include things to help me feel more confident, assertive, uplifted, beautiful, educated, content, healthy, spiritual, organized, outgoing, courageous, and empowered. It's time to work on me. This will help me to be a better, wife, sister, daughter, friend and mother. I hope to, slowly but surely, check one goal after the other, off my list. With each new goal I reach, I hope to feel more like this:
Now that's what I'm talking about!
My husband will drool, people will notice, and my kids will be proud rolling around with this!
Wish me luck!
So, with my new understanding of a new year resolution, I thought long and hard this year as to what mine would be. I laid in bed at night thinking about it, months before the year actually came. Then I discovered something kind of scary.
It had been a long time since I really reflected on myself and thought about who I really am.
Let me explain...
When Joe and I got married at the age of 18 and 19, we faced obstacles that I don't think normal newlyweds face. We had to prove to the world that IT was wrong, and that we were going to make it. We had to prove that we didn't think marriage was like "playing house"; that we could be just as responsible and mature as the rest of the newlyweds (who were years older then us). I didn't realize it, but I kind of became obsessed with it. Building a strong foundation, and making our way into the world, was literally all I thought about. I mapped out everything from Joe's career, to when we would buy a house. All the milestones I felt we had to make, to prove statistics wrong. I feel like the scene in "Forrest Gump" where he's running to make a touch down. He doesn't realize he has done what he was supposed to do, and can stop running now (If you remember, he ran from the football field, to all the way to his house)! I feel like we already made the touch down a long time ago, but I just kept running! It wasn't until I thought about my new year resolution, that I realized we've done pretty darn good, and I can stop obsessing (running) over it.
I've been so focused on my marriage, and on the milestones we make as a couple, that I completely neglected myself! I realize now that I can relax. We made it! I can stop obsessing over planning, and mapping, and keeping up with everyone else. While I'll never stop completely, as it's definitely good to have goals for your future together and to chart out your plans, I'm going to work on having more of a balance. I can work on our marriage, our future, and make sure I'm growing and maturing as a person. I need to concentrate on building up myself. I'm not the woman I want to be, and I realized I need a lot of work!
This is what I feel like, after neglecting my own personal growth for the past 4 1/2 years:
2010, is a big year for us. It's the year we are going to start a family. I don't want to be a mother, who feels like a broken down car on the inside. I want to be the mother I envision myself being in my mind, but I can't feeling like the above picture. So, I'm rolling into the shop, and I'm getting a major makeover! I've put together quite a long list of goals for myself. They all include things to help me feel more confident, assertive, uplifted, beautiful, educated, content, healthy, spiritual, organized, outgoing, courageous, and empowered. It's time to work on me. This will help me to be a better, wife, sister, daughter, friend and mother. I hope to, slowly but surely, check one goal after the other, off my list. With each new goal I reach, I hope to feel more like this:
Now that's what I'm talking about!My husband will drool, people will notice, and my kids will be proud rolling around with this!
Wish me luck!
2 comments:
I love this post! Very well said. I think it's easy for women to get caught up in making their marriage and family better and we forget that we need to make ourselves better before any of that can work! It's like when you fly on a plane and they tell you that you have to put on your oxygen mask 1st before helping anyone else, or you'll all die! Can you add to your list of resolutions moving to Utah? :0)
Thanks!
It's already on there ;)
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